| Long Time no Talk.
I'm the type of guy who holds in their feelings towards what people do, for them not to feel bad about themselves. But sometimes its good to express how you feel. In past relationships i've held comments and feelings to myself to avoid and confrontation or problems. If my girlfriend did something i didn't like, i'd tell her, but not be firm to my opinion. I usually tried to let her know subtly, with actions, such as letting them continue on what they were doing, waiting for them to realize how i felt. This sometimes worked, but mostly didn't, since there was no communication. But through experience, i've learned that holding in thoughts and feelings don't get me anywhere since the whole relationship is one sided.
As i matured, i learned new things from my past experiences. When i'm with someone, i don't let anyone else get in between me and my girlfriend, and my feelings remain honest. I've learned to ask questions and tell her how i feel about things. I'm not the type to restrict them from doing what they want. For example, when i tell her not to drink, i trust that she won't. If theres a party, i'll let her go, trusting she'll keep to her word. If anything does happen, and she doesn't keep her word, of course i'll get mad. But when i get mad, i dont yell or scream, i dont hit or go on rampages. I simply tell her what she did wrong, and leave it to that, making their own guilt be their punishment. If, for any instance, they aren't sorry, then theres a serious problem. Silent treatment. In some cases, the silent treatment fails. Why might you ask? Because i crack. I become dependant on my other half, to the point where loss of connection would serve me more damage than the other.
Learning from my mistakes, i now believe in the "all or nothing" phrase. Its either the two in the relationship put all their emotions and love into one another, exclusively, or theres not relationship at all. For example, if my girlfriend has feelings for someone other than me; incomplete relationship. Are they putting their all into the relationship? No. So i'd rather have nothing, then have half of it, or even 99% of it. If this situation does occur, i ask my girlfriend to be honest and think about their feelings; to ask themself honest questions. In whatever decision they make, i will support it. I dont want a "i love you, but i also like this other guy" relationship. All or nothing.
Honesty is the key for a true relationship. If my girlfriend does something wrong, i rather have her tell me about it. If she doesnt tell me, then she'll keep it to herself. in a worst case scenario, me finding out about it through someone else. Trust me, its happened before. Trust is also a big must in a relationship. There are times when my partner goes out with her ex, but instead of restricting her from going, i let her. Why? Because i trust her, and she knows that. If the trust is broken, then its up to the person who did wrong, to confess their mistake.
Regrets. I have learned to live life with no regrets. Do i regret anything that i did in a relationship? No. Why? Because i know if i didnt make that error, then i wouldnt learn from that mistake. What am i trying say? Im not saying that i like bad things happening, and i want them to happen. Im saying if they do happen, then take advantage of the situation and learn. Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying that im heartless or anything. Im saying theres a bright side to it. I know when a situation arises, i will come back to this and ask myself how i can write this. No regrets.
When trouble does come up, depending on its severity, if a relationship is strong, they will get through it. I learned that the power of prayer works. There is never a time when theres nothing to say in a prayer. Theres always something to be thankful about, and many of the times, there are requests when times are bad. Ever since i became a choir member, i have learned to be prayerful and thankful ever than before. I know if it is in God's will, then everything will be alright. If the relationship goes to a halt, then there was something else planned out for you.
Promises. Promises are sacred. Do not make a promise you cannot keep. I'd like to say all the promises that i've made i've kept. But that would be lie. There are promises that i have broken, but trust me, i tried my best to keep them. There are many broken promises in the past. As a result of this, i try to make promises that im certain i can keep. This is the one value i strongly keep. Whats a promise if you cant keep them? Nothing. Its so easy to say, "i promise...", but so incredibly difficult to keep them depending on its seriousness. Promises.
A relationship shouldn't be a burden. Of course there are times when there are problems. But if you think about it and ask yourself, arent all the good times worth all the bad ones? My answer is yes. Relationships are meant to bring happiness and comfort. It may also bring rough times, but this is natural.
There are many areas in where i can improve. I cant just preach and not take to action what im saying. I definately have my weaknesses. I have yet to ask all my unanswered questions, to express how i feel. But this insecurity is just my nature. I do have my insecuriites of course. But i find comfort in her smile, her voice and the way she looks at me. Of course there are times when even those things dont seem to comfort me in my questions and thoughts. This is where i need to improve. I need to ask questions.
This may seem like a nonsense entry, but this is how i feel. Love is such a complicated wonder. I dont let go easily, and i give my best effort in keeping what we share. I reiterate myself, truth, trust, faith, "all or nothing", promises and no regrets. My values, my experiences.
One last thing. Smile =D They'll never know. |
